A therapists guide to getting unstuck

A therapists guide to getting unstuckverzierungA therapists guide to getting unstuckFeeling stuck is an awful feeling. Stuck can quickly turn to feeling hopeless and helpless. When you cant achieve the things that you want, the internal dialogue can quickly turn to criticism and self-blame. But, it doesnt have to be that way.If youre looking to make some important changes in your life, here are some thoughts to get you unstuck.It all starts with self-reflectionGetting your life unstuck can be a big challenge, and it always starts with a bit of self-reflection and exploration. In order to move forward youre going to have to slow down and take stock of your life first. This means that you should set aside some time for quiet reflection without input and feedback from others. This can be hard to do with competing priorities and responsibilities, but its a necessary step.When you sit down to reflect, ask yourself the followingWhere am I now?What is my life like?Am I doing the work that I hoped that I would do?Are my relationships succeeding?How would I want them to be better?Its imperative that you be as specific as possible, and to explore with a curious, non-judgemental mind. There are no right or wrong answers here Being vague and broad with what you want will not only leave you feeling worse, but also make it difficult for you to take concrete action later on. Its hard to problem-solve when you dont know the actual problem, isnt it?Reconnect your purposeOften when we cant move forward, it means that weremissing purposeand inspiration. From an existential perspective, we need purpose as humans. That purpose could be quite broad (working to reduce instances ofcancer) but could also be smaller (to help support my team at work). Each purpose is valuable and valid, no matter what it is.Take some time to explore what you have been most passionate about in the past. Ask yourself, What motivates me? or What has driven some of my decisions so far? Those questions might help you identify a purpose that youve long been disconnected from.Take a peek into the futureAs a therapist, Ive worked with many clients who have come into thetherapyspace feeling stuck or confused about their path in life. One of the exercises that I find most helpful is an envisioning exercise. For some, looking into the ideal future can be very informative.If youre feeling stuck, try to imagine your life 10 years from now. Think about where you will be living, who you will be with, what youll be doing, etc. Create a mental picture of what that ideal life could look like. Maybe thats what your heart desiresOnce you take a peek into the future then you might be able to start crafting a rough outline to get there. And remember, even if you pivot orchange directionsseveral times (most people do) you leise have made some progress.Try something newOften, when we feel like we are in a rut, its an indication that something needs to change. Sometimes we dont even know what that change i s. When you dont have insight into what needs to change, it can be helpful to try something new. Anything out of the ordinary, or that breaks your current routine, might give you some helpful guidance toward your next steps.This could mean reading a new book for pleasure (which maybe you havent done in a while) or attending an event you wouldnt normally attend. Taking a moment to step outside of yourself can jostle your system into feeling something new. Reacting to new stimuli might also leave you feeling inspired, and able to connect to a part of yourself that has long been forgotten.Sometimes trying something new can be the catalyst for other changes in your life.Work with a therapistIf youve tried out some of the suggestions in this article and still cant find your way out of the rut, it may be helpful towork with a therapistto help you examine whats holding you back. Seeking support isnt an indictment of weakness or incapability. Having an outside, professional perspective migh t help you get to the bottom of your stuck-ness and help you craft a plan to move forward.In my work, Ive often met with clients who have tried many things on their own but found themselves frustrated with their change process. Change is quite difficult Sometimes this can lead to feelings of self-doubt andnegative self-talkwhich may exacerbate ongoing mental health issues. If you have any doubt about your ability to move forward, consulting with a therapist will be insightful and help you identify and work through the barriers without judgement and self-criticism.This article first appeared on TalkSpace.